Disenfranchised grief as a nomad
Disenfranchised grief as a nomad
Coping with loss on the move
Today, I’d like to discuss something that can be somewhat hard to talk about: grief as a digital nomad. Specifically, I’ll explore how to cope with disenfranchised grief as a nomad and how to find meaning and connection in the midst of loss.
While this post is primarily targeted at nomads, I believe it can resonate with anyone dealing with loss. If you’re navigating grief in your life, this post might offer some comfort or insight.
Understanding disenfranchised grief in digital nomadism
What is Disenfranchised Grief?
Disenfranchised grief is a form of grief that is not openly acknowledged or socially supported. It often occurs when the loss being grieved is not recognized as significant by others or when the griever is not seen as having the right to grieve. This can include the loss of a job, a relationship, a community, or even a way of life.
The nomadic experience of disenfranchised grief
Digital nomads work remotely, granting them the freedom to travel and operate from various corner of the world. While this lifestyle can be incredibly rewarding and exciting, it also comes with its own unique set of challenges. One of these challenges is coping with loss and grief on the move.
This type of grief can be especially difficult because it is often not recognized or supported by others. When we move from place to place and leave behind relationships, it can feel like we're not allowed to grieve these losses because we chose this lifestyle. This means that digital nomads often experience various forms of disenfranchised grief.
As digital nomads, we are constantly saying goodbye to people and places that we've grown to love. It is important to recognize that these losses are real and valid and that we are allowed to grieve, even if others may not fully understand.
I realized that my life was like a series of mini-lives, and every time I moved on, I was potentially killing off that life, or version of my life.
Coping with grief on the move
My experience with disenfranchised grief
As a digital nomad, I've come to realize that grief and loss are an inherent part of this lifestyle. At first, I thought that I could always go back to the places I loved, but as I moved from one place to another, I began to feel a sense of distress and sadness.
This sensation intensified upon my arrival in Peru. I had a vivid nightmare of swimming through a mountain cave, trying to escape something. As I woke up, I realized that my life was like a series of mini-lives, and every time I moved on, I was potentially killing off that life, or version of my life. While I can put some of these lives on pause, others will be gone forever.
Practical strategies for coping with grief
Disenfranchised grief can be a difficult and isolating experience, but there are strategies we can use to cope with it. Here are a few that may be helpful:
Acknowledge the loss. Recognize and validate your feelings of grief, even if others may not understand or recognize the significance of the loss.
Connect with others. While digital nomads may not have a permanent home or community, they can still connect with others through online communities, social media, or local events. Talking with others who understand your experiences can be very helpful in coping with grief.
Create new rituals. Creating your own personal rituals or traditions to mark the end of a location or relationship can help provide closure and a sense of moving forward.
Practice self-care. Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being can help you cope with grief. This may include practicing mindfulness, exercising, eating well, getting enough sleep, and seeking professional help if needed.
Focus on the positives. While it's important to acknowledge and process feelings of grief, it is also important to focus on the positive aspects of the digital nomad lifestyle, such as the freedom to explore new places and cultures.
Find meaning in the loss. Finding ways to give meaning to the loss, such as by using it as an opportunity for personal growth or as a way to connect with others who have gone through similar experiences, can help provide a sense of purpose and direction.
Every time we move from place to place, we may be leaving behind people, relationships, and opportunities. However, there are also unique opportunities for growth and self-discovery that come with the nomadic lifestyle. By embracing new experiences and connections, we can find meaning and connection in the midst of our loss.
Navigating the emotional landscape of nomadism
My ongoing experience with grief
At times, I’ve found myself in deep discomfort and distress, questioning my motivations for choosing a lifestyle that brings about so much loss and grief. It’s a difficult place to be, but it has also opened up opportunities for introspection and reflection on what really matters to me.
Through this work of introspection, I’ve realized that I have a strong sense of identity that transcends any particular place or community, which allows me to adapt wherever I go. For me, grief as a digital nomad is less about losing a part of myself and more about missing out on the unique experiences and connections that each place and community has to offer.
Maintaining connections across distance
Staying in touch with the people who truly matter to me, regardless of their location, has been essential in feeling connected and building a sense of community that transcends physical boundaries. I’ve found that revisiting places and reconnecting with old friends often feels like no time has passed, even if it’s been months or years since we last saw each other.
The unique experiences and opportunities for self-discovery that I’ve found in my travels have helped me focus on the positives, despite the grief that comes with leaving places and people behind.
By embracing this cycle of birth-death, you can start to see the constant change in your life as an opportunity for growth and renewal.
Lessons from literature and philosophy
Reflections from "The Midnight Library"
As I reflected on my experiences of disenfranchised grief as a digital nomad, I couldn’t help but think of Matt Haig’s book The Midnight Library. In this novel, the protagonist explores different parallel lives and grapples with the choices and paths not taken—a journey that resonated with my own struggles while constantly moving from place to place.
Like the protagonist, we too may experience feelings of regret or loss as we move from place to place, leaving behind people and opportunities. However, the book’s message of finding meaning and joy in the present moment can be incredibly helpful for coping with disenfranchised grief as a nomad.
The concept of Shoji or "Birth-Death"
In Japan, there is a concept called shoji, which translates to “birth-death.” While shoji is rooted in Buddhist philosophy, we can apply its teachings to our own experiences as nomads without necessarily embracing any particular religious or spiritual belief. It refers to the constant cycle of beginnings and endings that we experience in life.
As a digital nomad, this concept may resonate deeply. Every time you leave a place you’ve come to love, it can feel like a little death. But every time you arrive in a new place, it’s a new beginning. By embracing this cycle of birth-death, you can start to see the constant change in your life as an opportunity for growth and renewal.
Concluding thoughts
Grief as a digital nomad is a very real experience, and it’s important to acknowledge and validate our feelings of loss. Remember that you are not alone in your experiences, and there are strategies you can use to cope with disenfranchised grief. By connecting with others, practicing self-care, and finding meaning in the loss, we can continue to embrace the digital nomad lifestyle while also honoring the relationships and places that we leave behind.
While this post focuses on disenfranchised grief as experienced by digital nomads, these experiences can provide valuable lessons for anyone dealing with grief and loss. By learning how to cope with the feelings of sadness and disconnection that can arise from constantly moving and leaving behind people and places, we can develop important emotional resilience and self-reliance skills that can be applied to many other areas of our lives.
By embracing the transience of our experiences and acknowledging that everything is impermanent, we can learn to let go of attachments and find a sense of peace in the chaos of constant change.